he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
