you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
