I don't remember. Are we still dating?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
