im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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