I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I'm always down for nudity.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
