He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
