You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
