I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
