Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
