I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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