New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
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