How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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