u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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