went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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