Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize