I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
