Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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