Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
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