Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Randomize
