i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Randomize
