But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
