roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
