Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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