i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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