he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
