If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
