dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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