soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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