I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize