I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
