Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
