Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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