do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
