Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
