butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
