after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
