Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
