heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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