the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
