Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
