Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I need to calm my uterus...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
