Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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