I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
