no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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