I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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