god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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