dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
