i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
