Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
