Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
