just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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