Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize