i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
