I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
