The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
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