It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
