Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
it's not cheating when I paid for it
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
