im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
