I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
