I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize