Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
