thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
