rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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