ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
