like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
