yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
