shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
