I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
